Bad Luck or Good PR

I figured that I should share this with you guys.  I am currently sitting in class hanging my head in shame and my face is as red as the devils dick because my teacher is convinced that I am a homo.  I was supposed to be doing the work that she assigned at the beginning of class but I was really surfing the Dirty Boys page.  When I saw her start to walk around the class I quickly minimized the page like a 12 year old boy who just got caught jerking off by his parents for the first time.  I thought I was slick and brought up my excel spreadsheet.  I didn't realize that even thought the page wasn't up on the screen the box at the bottom of the page said Young Dirty Boys.  She totally caught me and called me out on it.  She said, "HMMMMM... Young  Dirty Boys huh? That doesn't look like the work and shouldn't it be young dirty girls."  I  tried to play it off like it was nothing but she had already announced it to the class.  I just replied, "UHHH read my blog?"  I'm still in shock and completely baffled by my situation.  While this was all going on, The Honkey Tonk Man and Donnie are hysterically laughing and pissing their pants while they sit in the row in front of me.  There is no recovering from that one, she definitely thinks that I love dick. Rightfully so I guess. Fuck me right?!

Kamikaze Street Racer

This guy is completely reckless.  I'm not too sure what he was thinking.

Move it Like Bernie

A new dance craze has hit the south called "The Bernie."  It looks a lot easier to do than it is.  The guys in this video look like the zombies from Call of Duty.  The dance is ridiculous and will probably not be the next Dougie.  When my friends and I saw this video for the first time we all gave it shot and came up with some steps to do the dance.

Step 1) Put on your nicest pair of jorts (jean shorts)
Step 2) Lean back as far as you can without bending your knees or falling over
Step 3) Flail your arms behind your back
Step 4) Continue to flail your arms until you can't anymore
Step 5) Repeat steps 2 thru 4

Fast and The Furious 15: Halal Drift

This guy must have been late to work at 7Eleven or sugar high on Slurpees or something

Warning: Xenadrine May Stunt Your Growth

Ronnie are you fucking serious.  Because it wasn't bad enough that you beat your girlfriend on national TV you had to be in the Xenadrine commercial. BRO what were you thinking?!  Lets be real here if you are going to be promoting anything it should be Dianabol.  "Hi, I'm Ronnie from the Jersey Shore and I'm here to talk to you guys about the benefits of using D-Bol.  You can either inject D-Bol or if you are a pussy ingest it in tab form.  D-Bol gave me massive arms, a huge back but shrank my dick about 3 inches.  Side effects of using D-Bol are using the terms Dude and Bro excessively.  It will also cause you destroy all of your girlfriends belongings and cry like a little school girl bitch.  Real people, Real Results."  This is much more believable.   It's going to be hard to recover from this one big guy, you clearly did not think this one thru.

Shake Weight Friend or Foe?

Shake weight, the eighth wonder of the world? I think not.  This thing is the most ridiculous invention in the world.  There is no way in hell that by using this machine that moves up and down in your hands has the ability of giving you abs like a Greek god or lats that look like gargoyle wings.  This contraption looks like the only thing that it good for is teaching you how to catch a hefty load off your face.  Quite frankly I do not get it or understand how using it could be beneficial.  Out of curiosity I wonder how many people actually own a Shake Weight.  Thank god you can order these things over the phone because buying it in a store would be more embarrassing than buying condoms for the first time.  I also guarantee that the people that have purchased the Shake Weight would never admit to it.  No one in their right mind would ever make their Facebook status "Shake Weight Time" or "Just had the workout of my life with my Shake Weight."  I feel bad for the guys in the infomercial more than anybody else.
Hopefully they got paid a lot of money because they are and will forever be known as the guys trying to promote a machine helps you prepare for a facial.

Rihanna Make Up Your Fucking Mind...

So Rihanna released her new track S&M a couple of weeks ago. The song is awesome and the music video is even better.  I can do without the red hair but if you're watching the video and are paying attention to her hair color instead of her legs you probably like men, but that is besides the point.  I was listening to the song the other day and actually payed attention to the lyrics.  The verse "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me" had me a little bit baffled.  As many of you recall, a few years ago Rihanna pressed charges on her ex-boyfriend Chris Brown for beating her up.  Hitting a woman is never acceptable, but after hearing the song a few times I'm convinced that she might have asked for it.  I'm not sure how whips and chains excite you but Chris Brown's soft ass hurt you so bad that you need to get a restraining order.  The lyrics to Rihanna's new song raises many questions and I am pretty sure that at the end of the day she is full of shit.  The verse should be changed to "Chris Brown's frail ass can break my bones, but I'm going to pretend that whips and chains excite me" or "Whips and chains excite me, but if you actually use them I am going to sue you for all you're worth and try to ruin your career."  Chris Brown if you're out there we're all sorry for you and know that it wasn't your fault.  If I were you I would sue her ass for defamation.  Rihanna you have to make up your fucking mind or don't lie to us all because we know you are full of shit.  With all of this said, I am still going to listen to the song regardless.  Drop some comments and let us know if you're team Riahanna or Team Chris Brown.

Like A G6, as performed by Primo

Leg Day Leads to Laundry Day?!

With summer around the corner I've noticed a major increase in the number of guys walking around my gym at school. Most of them seem clueless and think that because they put "GYM" as they're Facebook status that they will instantly get big or that people really give a shit whether they are there or not.  The reality is that if you put that as status everyone probably thinks that you are a douche bag. I'm not looking to blog about these guys that clearly do not belong anywhere near a weight room because they have no effect on me other than the fact that they get in the way.  I just wanted to talk about the question that many serious weight lifters face on a weekly basis... "Do I have to work my legs out this week?"  I feel like many guys including myself try their best to stay as far away from leg day as possible often either taking the day off or replacing it with another body part.  Lets face it, there is nothing rewarding about squating so much that the next day you can't even bend over to take a dump and when you finally do you cant even reach around to wipe.  Unfortunately as time goes on you will become unproportional and get made fun of for your decision to skip the dreaded leg day.  A lot of guys will try to fix the problem and work their legs out twice as hard but will realize that it is way to late and quit.   As my weight lifting endeavor continues I have seen tremendous improvement in my upper body but have not worked nearly as hard on my legs.  I have tried my hardest to work on them sometimes even twice a week.  I still get sore days after the workout but continue to fight through it.  Although their have been many obstacles on my journey to have perfect calves there is one problem that I consistently have.  Every time I train my legs, I come back with shit in my draws.  I'm not talking about the bacon strips you leave in your boxers when you forgot to safety wipe.  I'm talking about actual dump. I come back to my dorm all fired about my leg workout, get ready to shower pull my pants down and I find shit in my fucking underwear.  It is an instant buzz kill.  I'm not sure what to do and am trying to weigh out the options. 1) I can stop wearing underwear to the gym 2) I can pack my ass crack with toilet paper in the event of unexpected defecation 3) Ask a doctor if it is something that I should be worried about 4) Just stop training my legs all together.  I hope that I am not the only one with this problem and that some of you guys feel for me.  I took a pic of my underwear post workout and uploaded it to this post.  Let me know if any of you guys have experienced this problem or have any suggestions for me. I'm leaning more towards option 4

Boys Doing Manly Shit