I'm sure most of you have seen the recent news about good old Chucky and are saying man this guy can't be for real. I think that anyone who thinks he has lost it is a complete jackass. The man is in complete control of his life. He is living the dream, already swimming in millions he goes out and convinces two porn stars, in which he referred to as his "goddesses", to become his girlfriends/fuckbuddies and help raise his kids. Now on tour, preaching the good word and sharing the stories of his life like young Jesus Christ did, imparting wisdom to his followers across the country. The man is invincible no matter how many times he goes in and out of rehab and how many DUI's he gets and drug tests he fails, the hookers, the drinking, his reputation never gets destroyed. He was famously named as one of the clients of Heidi Fleiss's brothel a few years back, his response was "I like sex and can afford it."He can also be known as "Wild Thing" in the movie Major League, where he rocked the most ridiculous pair of glasses along with an even more ridiculous haircut, and some how managed to seem badass and pork his teammate's wife. Chuck continues to amaze me. Im sure if you watch this interview you see how this man really lives the thugg life.
The man is ripping a dart on national television during an ABC interview and blowing the smoke into Andrea Canning's face. God like? I think so. When asked if he would submit to a drug test, his response was "sure got a cup?". As he continues to light up another bogey and sip his long island iced tea I'm sure the only thing on his mind was what Andrea Canning looked like naked and if she would be willing to snort a line of cocaine off his pecker. Then when asked why he offended one of the creators of the show? He responds with, "Sorry if I offended you I didn't know you were such a puss... I mean you were so sensitive." Continue to follow his news and share the word of Chuck. AMEN.
-Wrecker out.
Showing posts with label Wrecker. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Wrecker. Show all posts
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
What your favorite movie really is...Amazing how right this is!
This math test will determine your favorite movie. Amazing!
This is pretty damn amazing. Mine turned out to be “Dumb and Dumber". I knew i was a faggot. I was surprised how this worked. Be honest and don’t look at the movie list till you have done the math.
This crazy math quiz can most likely predict which of the 18 films you would enjoy the most. Don’t ask me how, but it really works.
Movie Test:
1. Pick a number from 1-9.2. Multiply by 3.
3. Add 3.
4. Multiply by 3 again.
5. Now add the two digits together to find your predicted favorite movie in the list of 18 movies after the break.
Movie List:
1. Night at the Roxberry
2. E.T.
3. Blazing Saddles
4. Star Wars
5. Forrest Gump
6. Dumb and Dumberer
7. Jaws
8. Grease
9. The Joy of Anal Sex With A Goat
10. Blade
11. Jurassic Park
12. Dumb and Dumber
13. Pirates of the Caribbean
14. Titanic
15. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
16. Home Alone
17. Mrs. Doubtfire
18. Toy Story 3
2. E.T.
3. Blazing Saddles
4. Star Wars
5. Forrest Gump
6. Dumb and Dumberer
7. Jaws
8. Grease
9. The Joy of Anal Sex With A Goat
10. Blade
11. Jurassic Park
12. Dumb and Dumber
13. Pirates of the Caribbean
14. Titanic
15. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
16. Home Alone
17. Mrs. Doubtfire
18. Toy Story 3
Now, ain’t that something…..?
Weird how true it is right.....?
...... Goat-fuckersss!!!
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Whats in your Vagina?
updated 3/21/2011 10:10:57 AM ET
SCRANTON, Pa. — Police in northeastern Pennsylvania say they recovered more than 50 bags of heroin, cash and loose change from a woman following a cavity search.
Authorities say 27-year-old Karin Mackaliunas was detained last weekend following a crash. Scranton police say they found three bags of heroin in her jacket and after being taken to the police station she told investigators she had more hidden in her vagina.
A doctor performed a search and recovered 54 bags of heroin, 31 empty bags used to package heroin, prescription pills and $51.22.
Mackaliunas was jailed on $25,000 bail on charges including possession with intent to deliver a controlled substance. It was not clear if she had an attorney.
A preliminary hearing is scheduled for Monday.
-Out of curiousity, how freaking high do you have to be to stretch open and just stuff everything in like a hefty bag? Funniest part... doctors found $51.22. 22 CENTS! not a quarter, but this women decides to hide at a minimum two dimes and two pennies in her vagina! Because apparently they were THAT worth hanging on too
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Are You Seeking Bromace?
This is what I would call every man's dream. But first lets take a step back and define the word BROMANCE: Describes the complicated love and affection shared by two straight males. Its that feeling you get deep down (and all you guys out there know what I am talking about here) when your with that one guy (you could have a few guys) that you have a bromance with that just makes any situation fun. For some of you out there your probably thinking and saying under your breath, WOW this kid is definitely a faggot. Well I am sorry for you guys because things like this do exist, things like a bromance are what got me through college.
Okay enough with this mooshy shit and soft talk about bromance. Lets talk about the something prized by most men and if not, you guys should really look into this. The act of Double Teaming a girl...yea thats right a double team. For this act, as you all probably know, you need to find a chick with low inhibitions or little to no self respect. I know for most of you guys this would be tough because it means you have to put in work, like talk to her and find out what she is about. For you other guys you could just find the most inebriated slop show of a girl you can find at the bar, because alcohol does the work for you. When all of the above fails, you pigs out there know whats next, just find the fattest chick at the bar and hang a piece of salami from your zipper.
There are a few rules to a double team
1.Preferences go out the window and you must shotgun the hole you desire within 500 yards of the destination. Squatting right dont apply, you must agree on a rotation.
2. Never go ass to mouth with this chick because you or your bro could in the heat of the moment kiss this chick to keep the mood.
3.Eyes open is a must. The last thing you want to do is grab a hand full of your buddies meat.
4.Never cross swords.
5.No matter how drunk, once that chick passes out you have to bail. There is no such thing as a sleep over, no man left behind you grab your bro and get the fuck out of there. The last thing you want to do is wake up spooning with your buddy.
I am not saying that these are rules that you have to live by, like my great grand-daddy once said: "To each there own." These are just a few tips to get you through an epic night that you may never forget or never remember.
Good Luck to all!
"When I'm not snapping balls, I snap necks"
(My cousin sent me this link on Facebook awhile ago I thought everyone would get a laugh out of it. It was created by two kids on facebook.)
Ethan Albright is a 12 year pro in the National Football League (NFL). Albright is known as one of the NFL’s best and most reliable long snappers.That’s right. He’s not even a real, every-down lineman. He’s made a great career out of being able to long snap the football back to the punter on punting downs.At 6′5″ and 265 lbs, he’s somewhat small for an offensive lineman. But apparently he’s just the right size for a long snapper.Before joining the NFL, Albright was a four-year letterman and two-year starter at the University of North Carolina, where he was a member of the Academic All-Atlantic Coast Conference team as both a senior and a junior.Which makes the following letter to John Madden regarding his player rating on the Madden NFL Football 2007 video game all the more hysterical (Albright is the lowest rated player in the entire video game).
______________________________________________________________________________
To: John Madden
CC: Electronic Arts Sports
From: Ethan Albright
Re: Being the worst rated player on Madden ‘07
Hi, John, my name is Ethan Albright. I play line for the Washington Redskins. You probably already knew that, so I’ll continue. I am writing in regards to the overall player rating of 53 that I have received in Madden NFL Football 2007. I feel that this is fucking bullshit and you should kiss my mother-fucking ass. Ahmed Carroll was rated a 78 and the Packers just cut his ass on a Tuesday morning after his performance in a Monday night game. That is pretty terrible. The worst part is that his overall rating was sniffing 80.
You know what, John? Two can play this game. I rate you a fucking 12. I rate you a fucking 12 in Ethan Albright Football 2000-ever… except for in the category of ball-licking. That is where I will spot you a 98 rating. You will receive this score because I will never give your blubbery ass a 99 in any category. Take that, pencil-dick. Go do Al Micheals or something. Boom. Score one for Red Beard.
It’s also pretty wonderful that my awareness rating was 59. You make it sound like I wake up in the morning, helplessly shit and piss myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast. Fuck, John, I understand you saying that I am slow and lacking athleticism, but a rating like this pretty much labels me as retarded. Rod “He Hate Me��? Smart has a 52 in this category. Electronic Arts is saying that seven rating points separate me and the breathing embodiment of the perfect oxymoron. Rod Smart struggled to arrange words in sentence form. Cave men had better hold of the English language. The only actions that separate point values of ignorance at this embarrassing level are things like using your own toothbrush to wipe your ass. I basically edged out Rod by my lack of shit teeth. If I take a night school class, could you bump me up to a 60?
I guess I just can’t fathom the fact that I am the absolute worst player rated out of the entire NFL. Fuck, man, there are some shitty guys out there. Amongst everyone, I was rated the absolute worst.
I have received the impression that you feel that I am lacking in the agility category. I should consider a walk through my living room where I don’t crash through a wall or kick over furniture a resounding success. My agility rating on your game is 33. It makes it sound like I just topple over if I start walking too fast. Ted Washington is rated a 40 in agility. He is listed at 365 pounds. If Ted Washington tied a white lady up and made her wear a metal bikini, he’d look just like Jabba the Hut.
Red Alert!
John, you are such a fucking dick. I also noticed that my kick return rating was a 0. I was rated a fucking zero? So you feel that I shouldn’t even receive a 10, or even a 5? You are pretty much saying that I couldn’t even fall forward on a ball kicked in my direction. I would just stand there and let the ball bounce off of my fucking face. Fuck that, John, I returned an onside kick 6 yards in 2002. You should have just slapped a - 4 on me and had the EA staff ambush me with paintball guns.
Finally, I would like to comment on an unlikely topic, my pass coverage ratings. I see that I am a better at man-to-man coverage (31) than zone (21). Fuck me sideways with a lunchbox. Where did these scores even come from? How much time is spent coming up with the pass coverage ratings of offensive lineman? Can I have that job? Let’s see here, I think that Orlando Pace would be slightly better at jumping intermediate routes than Larry Allen. While I’m at it, I can assign the passing ratings for offensive lineman as well. I can use mine as a guide.
I was rated with a throwing power of 17 and accuracy of 16. Orlando Pace has a 22 power and 17 accuracy rating. Did someone at EA really put time into figuring out that Orlando Pace edges out Ethan Albright in both throwing power and accuracy? I will challenge him any day. My horrible passer ratings are of greatest misfortune to my son, Red Beard Jr. The poor boy is not only hideously ugly and covered by freakishly large freckles. He also has to suffer through playing catch with me and my senile-elderly-woman-type passer ratings. A session of tossing the pigskin usually consists of me missing my son by thirty yards in sporadic directions. I led him in front of a fire truck once and my wife kicked my ass. This is because of my 76 toughness rating. Yes, a 76 is far better than the other ratings, but I’m a fucking lineman, damn it. NFL Linemen are considered to be synonymous with toughness. According to your game, I am a retarded, uncoordinated, pussy-ass fuckwad that can’t fall on a kickoff, throw, or spell. I am, however, slightly better at manning up on a receiver than dropping into zone coverage. You lose your mind more and more each year, old man.
When I'm not snapping balls, I snap necks.
Fuck you, John. Please expect to find red pubes in various meals you consume for the rest of your life. If you fuck with Ethan Albright, you call down the thunder.
Rot in Hell,
Ethan Albright
(Created by Andrew Oughton and Chris Condike)
Ethan Albright is a 12 year pro in the National Football League (NFL). Albright is known as one of the NFL’s best and most reliable long snappers.That’s right. He’s not even a real, every-down lineman. He’s made a great career out of being able to long snap the football back to the punter on punting downs.At 6′5″ and 265 lbs, he’s somewhat small for an offensive lineman. But apparently he’s just the right size for a long snapper.Before joining the NFL, Albright was a four-year letterman and two-year starter at the University of North Carolina, where he was a member of the Academic All-Atlantic Coast Conference team as both a senior and a junior.Which makes the following letter to John Madden regarding his player rating on the Madden NFL Football 2007 video game all the more hysterical (Albright is the lowest rated player in the entire video game).
______________________________________________________________________________
To: John Madden
CC: Electronic Arts Sports
From: Ethan Albright
Re: Being the worst rated player on Madden ‘07
Hi, John, my name is Ethan Albright. I play line for the Washington Redskins. You probably already knew that, so I’ll continue. I am writing in regards to the overall player rating of 53 that I have received in Madden NFL Football 2007. I feel that this is fucking bullshit and you should kiss my mother-fucking ass. Ahmed Carroll was rated a 78 and the Packers just cut his ass on a Tuesday morning after his performance in a Monday night game. That is pretty terrible. The worst part is that his overall rating was sniffing 80.
You know what, John? Two can play this game. I rate you a fucking 12. I rate you a fucking 12 in Ethan Albright Football 2000-ever… except for in the category of ball-licking. That is where I will spot you a 98 rating. You will receive this score because I will never give your blubbery ass a 99 in any category. Take that, pencil-dick. Go do Al Micheals or something. Boom. Score one for Red Beard.
It’s also pretty wonderful that my awareness rating was 59. You make it sound like I wake up in the morning, helplessly shit and piss myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast. Fuck, John, I understand you saying that I am slow and lacking athleticism, but a rating like this pretty much labels me as retarded. Rod “He Hate Me��? Smart has a 52 in this category. Electronic Arts is saying that seven rating points separate me and the breathing embodiment of the perfect oxymoron. Rod Smart struggled to arrange words in sentence form. Cave men had better hold of the English language. The only actions that separate point values of ignorance at this embarrassing level are things like using your own toothbrush to wipe your ass. I basically edged out Rod by my lack of shit teeth. If I take a night school class, could you bump me up to a 60?
I guess I just can’t fathom the fact that I am the absolute worst player rated out of the entire NFL. Fuck, man, there are some shitty guys out there. Amongst everyone, I was rated the absolute worst.
I have received the impression that you feel that I am lacking in the agility category. I should consider a walk through my living room where I don’t crash through a wall or kick over furniture a resounding success. My agility rating on your game is 33. It makes it sound like I just topple over if I start walking too fast. Ted Washington is rated a 40 in agility. He is listed at 365 pounds. If Ted Washington tied a white lady up and made her wear a metal bikini, he’d look just like Jabba the Hut.
Red Alert!
John, you are such a fucking dick. I also noticed that my kick return rating was a 0. I was rated a fucking zero? So you feel that I shouldn’t even receive a 10, or even a 5? You are pretty much saying that I couldn’t even fall forward on a ball kicked in my direction. I would just stand there and let the ball bounce off of my fucking face. Fuck that, John, I returned an onside kick 6 yards in 2002. You should have just slapped a - 4 on me and had the EA staff ambush me with paintball guns.
Finally, I would like to comment on an unlikely topic, my pass coverage ratings. I see that I am a better at man-to-man coverage (31) than zone (21). Fuck me sideways with a lunchbox. Where did these scores even come from? How much time is spent coming up with the pass coverage ratings of offensive lineman? Can I have that job? Let’s see here, I think that Orlando Pace would be slightly better at jumping intermediate routes than Larry Allen. While I’m at it, I can assign the passing ratings for offensive lineman as well. I can use mine as a guide.
I was rated with a throwing power of 17 and accuracy of 16. Orlando Pace has a 22 power and 17 accuracy rating. Did someone at EA really put time into figuring out that Orlando Pace edges out Ethan Albright in both throwing power and accuracy? I will challenge him any day. My horrible passer ratings are of greatest misfortune to my son, Red Beard Jr. The poor boy is not only hideously ugly and covered by freakishly large freckles. He also has to suffer through playing catch with me and my senile-elderly-woman-type passer ratings. A session of tossing the pigskin usually consists of me missing my son by thirty yards in sporadic directions. I led him in front of a fire truck once and my wife kicked my ass. This is because of my 76 toughness rating. Yes, a 76 is far better than the other ratings, but I’m a fucking lineman, damn it. NFL Linemen are considered to be synonymous with toughness. According to your game, I am a retarded, uncoordinated, pussy-ass fuckwad that can’t fall on a kickoff, throw, or spell. I am, however, slightly better at manning up on a receiver than dropping into zone coverage. You lose your mind more and more each year, old man.
When I'm not snapping balls, I snap necks.
Fuck you, John. Please expect to find red pubes in various meals you consume for the rest of your life. If you fuck with Ethan Albright, you call down the thunder.
Rot in Hell,
Ethan Albright
(Created by Andrew Oughton and Chris Condike)
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Tiki are you fucking serious?
If the only reason that Tiki Barber is coming back to the NFL is to be able to pay off this divorce settlement with his wife.. he is better off deep throating that microphone on the sideline like he has the past 4 years. Tiki thinks that he is stronger at age 36 than when he was in the NFL. Tiki lets get serious your 36,single and balding worse than a dead chia pet. You couldn't find your wifes holes let alone run through one. Why do you think she left your old bald ass in the first place? I understand times are tough and your wife is deeper now in your pockets than she ever was when she was with you. The NFL isnt the umemployment line just ask Brett Favre. To get the money for your alimony set up shop on the corner of Hunts Point in the Bronx and show your strength and endurance there. Do us all a favor and stay out of the NFL.
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